The Next of Kin
by The Cheshire Cheese
Summary: After the first batch of letters from home, Chakotay isn't the only one tasked with delivering bad news. Faced with a pile of letters that can never be properly answered, Janeway seeks her best friend's counsel on how to proceed. (Tag to "Hunters.")


**A/N: This is something of a sequel to my one-shot "My Crew." But you do _not_ have to read that story to understand this one. **

**I don't own "Star Trek: Voyager."**

* * *

Janeway forced herself to listen to her first officer's weekly report, as her mind fought to wander to current events. It didn't help that her friend's voice wasn't the most cheerful today. People often joked about the commander's "monotone," almost Vulcan-like demeanor, but after being friends with Chakotay for over three years, Janeway could tell when his voice was empty, lacking his usual conversational cheer. He wasn't the only one. The previous week, Voyager had received its first batch of letters from home, via a Hirogen array. The joy this event should have brought was met with an almost equally strong blow to moral, for a handful of reasons. Many crewmembers, former Maquis in particular, had not received good news. Others, like Tom Paris, hadn't received their letters at all (as their chance to use the array was cut short). The fact that this communication with the Alpha Quadrant was a one-time opportunity, coupled with the reminder of what they'd all left behind, added salt to the wound.

And now, Janeway realized she faced _another_ difficulty.

"That's all," Chakotay said, as if he'd been waiting for her response.

Janeway realized her mind had drifted. She turned around to face her first officer, not realizing she'd had her back to him for the majority of his report. She replied with a small nod, and sipped her lukewarm coffee.

"Kathryn?" Chakotay eyed her.

"Chakotay." Janeway felt her friend's eyes on her, as she began to pace her Ready Room. "There is something else that I'd like to discuss."

"What?"

It seemed like there was a _lot_ to discuss. Where to begin?

"First," she set her coffee on her desk. "I owe you an apology."

"Another one?"

She tilted her head at him.

"It seems like you've been apologizing all week." He sounded as weary as she felt, but she knew him well enough to sense the sincerity in his voice. "You're not omnipotent Kathryn. You can't be expected to know everything that's going on aboard your ship if your officers don't tell you. I'm the one who should be apologizing."

"I'm the one who didn't use common sense." Janeway said sternly. "When I told you about my letter from Mark, you comforted me. And I _let_ you. I let myself wallow in self-pity over my botched love life, and it never once occurred to me to consider what kind of news you and the half of my crew that used to be Maquis might have received."

"You had a ship-wide moral crisis on your hands, I knew it, and I waited an entire day to tell you. I was irresponsible."

"You were traumatized. You can't have been expected to think rationally. As captain it's my responsibility to consider how each and every event might be affecting my crew." Her hand flew up. "I know what you're going to say next. The same thing you've said three times this week," she heard him sigh but went on. "I'm too hard on myself. Well every once in a while I take that advice, I let myself feel sorry for myself, and every time I do I come back to reality to find that someone else has been genuinely suffering right under my nose."

Chakotay shrugged. "If I let you treat me to a bowl of mushroom soup, will you accept that we're even?"

"This isn't just about you and your old crew, Chakotay."

Chakotay watched her as she circled back to her desk, and picked up a PADD. She brought up the first file, scrolled to the middle of the text, and read:

"'_In three years, I never gave up hope that you were out there. I knew the universe couldn't do you in so easily. You're far too stubborn to die like that. In a way it makes sense; you're perfect for this mission. You always said you joined Starfleet for the adventure. That spunk of yours must be serving Captain Janeway well, as you pilot Voyager through alien battles and unknown anomalies. I'll bet it's been your dream job. And I can't wait to hear about all the adventures you've—'_"

The lump in Janeway's throat prevented her from continuing.

Quietly, Chakotay asked, "What is that?"

"It's a letter," Janeway fought to control her cracking voice. "addressed to Lt. Aura Stadi." Avoiding Chakotay's eye, she let the PADD slacken in her hand. "My original conn officer. It's from her older sister."

Chakotay had never met Stadi, but he was well informed about the ill-fated Betazoid helmswoman who Tom Paris had replaced.

Janeway brought her PADD back up, and activated a new file: "'_After Mom's death, I almost felt like I had nothing left to live for. Only my son kept me going. But the moment I heard that Voyager was still out there, that you were still alive, it was like I was waking from a coma. All I've talked about to Trevor for the last week was his grandfather, and all the strange adventures he'd had in his long career with Starfleet. Neither he nor I can wait to hear back from you, and learn what new adventures the Delta Quadrant has helped you add to your list.'" _Now she met Chakotay's eye. "John Cavit, my original first officer. This was from his daughter Faith."

The irony of the name wasn't lost to either of them.

The captain scrolled through the letters on her PADD. "There's one for my original chief engineer, from her husband. One for the doctor, the nurse. Here's one for Crewman Darwin, from one of his sisters. He has three." She knew Chakotay would remember the name of Crewman Darwin, the man murdered one year into Voyager's journey by one of Chakotay's old Maqius soldiers, Lon Suder. "Heidi Dietrich has one, from her mother." Crewman Dietrich had died just weeks ago, murdered by hostile aliens experimenting on the crew. "Lt. Durst's fiancé has stayed faithful to him this entire time, and wants him to send her a picture, because she 'wants to see his face.' How do I tell her his face was ripped off and worn as a mask by an insane Vidiian?"

Chakotay seemed at a loss for words.

She let the PADD fall to her desk. "I've been in command for over a decade. I know how to deliver 'the worst of news to the next of kin.' So why does this feel so different?"

"It's one thing to deliver the news in a timely manner," Chakotay replied. "It's another when you have to tell someone who's been waiting and hoping for three years."

"And who's just had their hope raised," Janeway added. "I suppose you must've faced this exact same dilemma, when you had to break the news to your old crew about the Maquis."

Chakotay tugged his ear uncomfortably. "Not quite. At least my crew had each other. We _knew_ each other. Everyone I delivered that news to was among friends. On top of that, they were all soldiers. You've got to deliver this news to civilians, and strangers." He let his hand drop to his side. "I wish I could be more helpful."

Janeway shook her head, practically biting her first finger. "I'm sure all these families were prepared for the possibility of a death. It's an occupational hazard. It's the _cruel irony_ of the situation. What can I say to them, apart from the overdone 'it was quick' cliché?"

Chakotay was silent. Janeway half expected him to suggest that Cavit, Stadi, and the rest had been spared the various hardships and tortures that much of Voyager's crew had endured; but seeing as half these family members were eager to hear about 'the adventure,' this might just rub salt in the wound. It would essentially be like telling them, _well, the Delta Quadrant's been a drag anyway, your family member didn't miss out on much._

Finally, Chakotay suggested, "They probably want to know that their loved ones contributed something. That they didn't die in vain."

"But a lot of them _did_, Chakotay. Stadi, Cavit, Dr. Anders and half my original crew never even made it to the Delta Quadrant!" Softly she added, "I know a lot of yours didn't either, but I don't think I've gotten any letters for..." she stopped herself before she said something tactless.

"A lot less of the Maquis received letters," Chakotay said. "A lot of my crew's families didn't even know what ship their relatives were serving on. The Maqius didn't exactly post all our positions publicly."

After several moments Janeway mumbled, half to herself, "Tom got to know Stadi a little. Maybe he can think of something to say about her."

"You didn't know her?"

"I met her. I can honestly tell her sister that she was an exemplary officer and helmswoman, and I saw that 'spunk' of hers. But what can I say she contributed to Voyager, how can I assure this woman her sister's been remembered?"

"You're doing a good job remembering her right now. And you only met her once. Just tell them the truth, what you know. Or what you heard or read about them." Chakotay gave it some thought. "Maybe asking Tom, and some of others in the crew, isn't a bad idea. I'm sure a handful of B'Elanna's engineering team met the original chief. Someone must've met some of the people on Sickbay's original staff."

"Lt. Nicoletti," Janeway suddenly remembered. "If I'm remembering correctly, she was acquainted with Dr. Anders before Voyager."

As usual, Chakotay didn't have to be asked to take on the task. "When I make my rounds today, I'll ask around, see if I can find anyone with memories to add about your original crew."

It irked Janeway, when Chakotay referred to "her" crew or "his" crew. She was adamant that Voyager be united. But given recent events, it would be senseless to give him the "our crew" correction this time. Chakotay obviously had a bond with his old Maquis soldiers that no amount of Starfleet integration would eradicate.

"I like that idea, Chakotay." Janeway nodded over her fist, then locked eyes with his. "Thank you."

He gave her the first genuine smile she'd seen from him in a week. "You're welcome."

* * *

**A/N: "Hunters" is a beautiful episode in so many ways, but the last scene is **_**enraging**_**. Janeway has a ship-wide moral crisis on her hands, her best friend is suffering, and she obviously must have gotten some letters addressed to dead crewmembers that she has to deal with, and is any of this addressed onscreen? No. Instead, we end with Chakotay comforting Janeway…**_**about her boyfriend dumping her**_**. **

**Thank god for fan-fiction. **


End file.
